DWN-019 / Gemini Man (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
illusorycopies) wrote2023-06-16 11:28 pm
illusorycopies) wrote2023-06-16 11:28 pm
Gemini's Robot Report (incomplete)
What is this nonsense? ...oh? A survey on robots? ...alright then, I'll fill this in. But you had best be prepared for the honest truth!
Light Numbers
Blues
Now, how to do this... Aha! Blues would be quite attractive were it not for his bizarre helmet. He has good taste in sunglasses and coloring, but what's with that scarf? And the shield! It's useful, sure, but- what? You want to hear my opinions on them, not their taste? You idiot, those things are one and the same! Anyway, at least he's competent. Even if he did interfere and fight Megaman in my carefully set up stage...
7/10
Rock
My. Robot. God. Someone get this boy a stylist! Certainly he, like Blues, has that thick, wild hair that you'd just love to run your fingers through, but would it kill him to style it once in a while? Or even run a comb through it? And when he's out of that boring blue armor he never bothers to wear anything half-decent! It's just ugly. bland t-shirts amd shorts or long pants! And someone take him shoe shopping, before I do! It's embarrassing being defeated by a kid who doesn't even try to make it look good!
4/10, would go much higher if he dressed properly.
Roll
Well, she's cute and has good taste at least. I suppose someone in the family had to. A little too little girly for my liking, and a little too hands-on with that broom of hers. Ill-mannered little thing...
7/10
Cut
He offered to cut my hair once. As if I needed it! My hair is perfectly fine! What a tasteless joke! And no, I don't mean the puns, he insulted my looks! As if he has any style of his own! With that fluffy orange hair and the stupidest looking helmet in existence... no, wait, he has some competition on that.
3/10, would not take style advice from!
Guts
Fashion. Disaster. He's big, ugly, and dresses like a damn lumberjack parody. And why does Dr. Wily love that design so much?! He's reused it several times and yet he never makes use of my beauty any more! I hate it. No, I am not jealous!
0/10!
Ice
Ah, a nice, cute design. The clothes are a lovely choice, it's just a shame he's so short. 5/5 for cuteness, 0/5 for height. ...what do you mean, I already mixed up my rating system?
Bomb
Oh good grief. Dr. Light needs to see someone about his poor style choices. Punk? Really? And then he mixed orange with yellow to make him sooooo bright and flashy... it hurts the eyes.
3/10. I'm sorry, I just can't go higher.
Fire
Now here is at least a stylish design! Sleek, tall, simple but not bland... the fire adds a nice touch! He's actually a little charming at times too. Well done, Dr. Light!
8/10
Elec
Now this is a man who at least knows how to style! And while his helmet looks goofy, the rest of him is quite well done too! Dr. Light clearly put in his A-game when he desigend this shockingly pretty robot! ...sorry. Anyway, even the coloring looks good, as bright as it is. and the build is lovely. He dares to think he's better looking than me though. He hasn't said anything yet, but I just know it. It's in his eyes.
9/10. Be proud of your skills, handsome boy.
Note from the future: After dealing with the rest of the Fright Numbers, I considered docking Elec for not having put his skills to work on his siblings, but realized that would be hypocritical. I understand full well how tiring it can be to try to reform the tastes of the fashion-deficient. Goodness knows I've never managed to bring myself to do the same to my brothers...
Time
Whose bright idea was it to design this grouchy idiot's armor after an alarm clock? And the purple! The purple! At least he's cute out of armor but he hardly ever does it where I can see him. And on top of that! He! Has! No! Sense! Of! Fashion! It's button ups and slacks all year around! Plain, ugly shoes! Not even a slight difference in hairstyle! Somebody teach that robot to relax and think about the important things in life for once!
2/10! I subtracted extra points for the repetitive lack of care in clothing!
Unicorn
Well. At least he's pretty. And he actually has taste. That cute tail of his just makes me want to pull it though. Is that just me?
Yes.
Shut up, me. Anyway, good looking, good taste, shame about the personality but you can't have perfection unless it's named Gemini.
8/10
Cossacks
Bright
Why? Why do all roboticists have the most absurd tastes in the world? His head is literally blinding. It's a lightbulb hat. And what even is that thing on his chest, a battery? It's ugly, ugly, ugly. Finally, he doesn't have nearly enough color variety to pull off that orange. I haven't seen him unarmored but I can't imagine he looks much better!
2/10. And that's being generous. Dr. Cossack, you can do better.
Toad
I said better. Ugh. Whose bright idea was it to design a short, fat robot who looks like a frog? If you tipped him over you could roll him around with a stick like an old kid's toy. At least his coloring is nice. I suspect from Snake's interest that there's something nice underneath the armor, too, but I can hardly find out. Can he even take that off?
1/10. Two for two on failures now, Dr. Cossack.
Drill
Sigh. At least he's sleek and has good coloration, but drills for hands? A drill helmet? And those silly poses of his! I don't even want to think about this any more. He's like a mascot from a ridiculous drilling-themed theme park.
4/10. Not a good show so far, Dr. Cossack.
Pharaoh
Finally a decent design. Taking style tips from the long-dead is a bit gauche, but he takes everything from the long-dead, including his personality. Seriously, that serious archaeologist attitude? I'd say straight out of the 1920s but if movies have taught me anything, archeologists were actually cooler back then. Maybe the 1960s.
He has really good style though, and the bandages add just the right hint of mystery to entice. I'd like to see what he's hiding under there.
7/10.
Ring
Keeping with the good themes, he's slim, has pretty eyes and at least you can't roll him around. Dr. Cossack must have been on the good stuff when he came up with this design. Whatever that is, stick to it, not... whatever inspired you to make Bright and Toad. Shame he has no personality though. Also, the helmet.
6/10. Dr. Cossack's overall rating so far: 5/10.
Dust
And that approval rating just dropped like Forte after fighting Rock (I know, I'm terrible). Dr. Cossack must hae been sauced when he made a walking vaccuum cleaner. The shape's a disaster too, and his posture is terrible! No. Absolutely not
0/10! Ze-ro-!
Dive
At least this is a slight improvement. I hate it still, but it's an improvement. Bulky, poorly built, top-heavy, and what is with that helmet? The most I can say is that at least it's not Dust. And he has nice coloration I suppose.
2/10
Skull
Why? Did Dr. Wily take over his body for a bit? ...actually I'm rather shocked he hasn't ripped his design off by now. At least he refrains from sticking skulls on us...
3/10 but solely for themeing because if he wanted something to scare the crap out of people, he succeeded.
Tundra
My god. It's. It's a miracle! Dr. Cossack found taste! This might be actual proof of the existence of God right here. ...nah.
Wait, he redesigned himself? False alarm, Dr. Cossack still sucks at design. Tundra, on the other hand... mwah. The color, the hair, the sleek, fancy design! The use of icicles! I almost feel like he's ripping me off!
8/10. It would be 9 if he didn't clearly copy me. I mean, he just cut the helmet front in half and made it blew and crystally.
Abyss
Oh my. I may have that proof after all! An actual Cossack-designed robot who looks lovely?! ...oh. Kalinka desigend him? So the tiny girl has far better taste than her father, but... for shame, Dr. Cossack! For shame!
The theme is great, his style is great, he has a good sense of posture, too... Someone hire Kalinka to do all her father's designs from now.
9/10. As for Dr. Cossack, 3/10 overall! Your own robot and a tiny child did better than you! Be ashamed!
Wily-Made Siblings and Adopted Siblings
Rhythm
Is this a joke? What do you mean, of course not, Wily made- DON'T YOU DARE CLARIFY!
Anyway, I can't criticise my sister's taste. She's adorable and small and that cheerful smile of hers is always nice to see. Wait, no, I can criticise her taste. What the actual hell does she see in Forte? Does she just like violent thugs with face tattoos?
No rating, my sister is as close to perfect as you can get without being me, save for her deplorable taste in boyfriends.
Metal
Talk about outdated, but he's still better than (almost) anything the other doctors came up with. The saws let him down, but he's sleek, handsome, decent coloring. If only his actual taste was as good. What's with the chain fetish? And leather? Really? Is he trying to join a biker crew? If so, he should probably lose the piercings. Where did he even find them?
I don't really get along well with him. He's ill-mannered and bad tempered to boot. Handsomeness is wasted on that robot...
7/10. He makes the terrible punk garbage look... okay!
Air
Started off strong, father's taste immediately dipped back into the kind of ridiculous that remind me that he loves Gutsman's design. He's literally a fan with eyes and limbs. And there's so much bright yellow! I wouldn't even buy a regular fan that looked like that, let alone a sentient one!
0/10. I'm ashamed I came out of the same mind as this design!
Bubble
I don't have any big complaints about this. His helmet looks goofy and what's with the chest jewel? And again, the helmet - who puts a cannon on their head? He already hd a perfectly good one on his arm, he could have just put the Bubble one on his other arm!
4/10. Okay, I guess. If you like that sort of thing.
Quick
Ugh. Do not get me started on this jerk! He's always trying to piss me off and usually succeeds! At least he's good looking in that rugged sort of way... Good legs, good style - if a little too casual - good eyes. The helmet's as stupid as most are. And you could lose yourself in his eyes... if he'd stand still long enough to let you look into them, the hyperactive imbecile. I've yet to decide if that's good or bad.
8/10. Back to decent designs at least.
Crash
Flash
Heat
Wood
Needle
Magnet
Gemini
Hard
Top
Snake
Spark
Shadow
Gravity
Wave
Stone
Gyro
Star
Charge
Napalm
Crystal
Blizzard
Centaur
Flame
Knight
Plant
Tomahawk
Wind
Yamato
Freeze
Junk
Burst
Cloud
Spring
Slash
Shade
Turbo
Tengu
Astro
Sword
Clown
Search
Frost
Grenade
Aqua
Concrete
Tornado
Splash Woman
Plug
Jewel
Hornet
Magma
Galaxy
Blade
Pump
Commando
Chill
Sheep
Strike
Nitro
Solar
Block
Fuse
Blast
Acid
Torch
Impact
Bounce
Forte
Dynamo
Cold
Ground
Pirate
Burner
Magic
Zero
Stardroids
Terra
Mercury
Venus
Mars
Jupiter
Saturn
Uranus
Pluto
Neptune
Other
Sunstar
Light Numbers
Blues
Now, how to do this... Aha! Blues would be quite attractive were it not for his bizarre helmet. He has good taste in sunglasses and coloring, but what's with that scarf? And the shield! It's useful, sure, but- what? You want to hear my opinions on them, not their taste? You idiot, those things are one and the same! Anyway, at least he's competent. Even if he did interfere and fight Megaman in my carefully set up stage...
7/10
Rock
My. Robot. God. Someone get this boy a stylist! Certainly he, like Blues, has that thick, wild hair that you'd just love to run your fingers through, but would it kill him to style it once in a while? Or even run a comb through it? And when he's out of that boring blue armor he never bothers to wear anything half-decent! It's just ugly. bland t-shirts amd shorts or long pants! And someone take him shoe shopping, before I do! It's embarrassing being defeated by a kid who doesn't even try to make it look good!
4/10, would go much higher if he dressed properly.
Roll
Well, she's cute and has good taste at least. I suppose someone in the family had to. A little too little girly for my liking, and a little too hands-on with that broom of hers. Ill-mannered little thing...
7/10
Cut
He offered to cut my hair once. As if I needed it! My hair is perfectly fine! What a tasteless joke! And no, I don't mean the puns, he insulted my looks! As if he has any style of his own! With that fluffy orange hair and the stupidest looking helmet in existence... no, wait, he has some competition on that.
3/10, would not take style advice from!
Guts
Fashion. Disaster. He's big, ugly, and dresses like a damn lumberjack parody. And why does Dr. Wily love that design so much?! He's reused it several times and yet he never makes use of my beauty any more! I hate it. No, I am not jealous!
0/10!
Ice
Ah, a nice, cute design. The clothes are a lovely choice, it's just a shame he's so short. 5/5 for cuteness, 0/5 for height. ...what do you mean, I already mixed up my rating system?
Bomb
Oh good grief. Dr. Light needs to see someone about his poor style choices. Punk? Really? And then he mixed orange with yellow to make him sooooo bright and flashy... it hurts the eyes.
3/10. I'm sorry, I just can't go higher.
Fire
Now here is at least a stylish design! Sleek, tall, simple but not bland... the fire adds a nice touch! He's actually a little charming at times too. Well done, Dr. Light!
8/10
Elec
Now this is a man who at least knows how to style! And while his helmet looks goofy, the rest of him is quite well done too! Dr. Light clearly put in his A-game when he desigend this shockingly pretty robot! ...sorry. Anyway, even the coloring looks good, as bright as it is. and the build is lovely. He dares to think he's better looking than me though. He hasn't said anything yet, but I just know it. It's in his eyes.
9/10. Be proud of your skills, handsome boy.
Note from the future: After dealing with the rest of the Fright Numbers, I considered docking Elec for not having put his skills to work on his siblings, but realized that would be hypocritical. I understand full well how tiring it can be to try to reform the tastes of the fashion-deficient. Goodness knows I've never managed to bring myself to do the same to my brothers...
Time
Whose bright idea was it to design this grouchy idiot's armor after an alarm clock? And the purple! The purple! At least he's cute out of armor but he hardly ever does it where I can see him. And on top of that! He! Has! No! Sense! Of! Fashion! It's button ups and slacks all year around! Plain, ugly shoes! Not even a slight difference in hairstyle! Somebody teach that robot to relax and think about the important things in life for once!
2/10! I subtracted extra points for the repetitive lack of care in clothing!
Unicorn
Well. At least he's pretty. And he actually has taste. That cute tail of his just makes me want to pull it though. Is that just me?
Yes.
Shut up, me. Anyway, good looking, good taste, shame about the personality but you can't have perfection unless it's named Gemini.
8/10
Cossacks
Bright
Why? Why do all roboticists have the most absurd tastes in the world? His head is literally blinding. It's a lightbulb hat. And what even is that thing on his chest, a battery? It's ugly, ugly, ugly. Finally, he doesn't have nearly enough color variety to pull off that orange. I haven't seen him unarmored but I can't imagine he looks much better!
2/10. And that's being generous. Dr. Cossack, you can do better.
Toad
I said better. Ugh. Whose bright idea was it to design a short, fat robot who looks like a frog? If you tipped him over you could roll him around with a stick like an old kid's toy. At least his coloring is nice. I suspect from Snake's interest that there's something nice underneath the armor, too, but I can hardly find out. Can he even take that off?
1/10. Two for two on failures now, Dr. Cossack.
Drill
Sigh. At least he's sleek and has good coloration, but drills for hands? A drill helmet? And those silly poses of his! I don't even want to think about this any more. He's like a mascot from a ridiculous drilling-themed theme park.
4/10. Not a good show so far, Dr. Cossack.
Pharaoh
Finally a decent design. Taking style tips from the long-dead is a bit gauche, but he takes everything from the long-dead, including his personality. Seriously, that serious archaeologist attitude? I'd say straight out of the 1920s but if movies have taught me anything, archeologists were actually cooler back then. Maybe the 1960s.
He has really good style though, and the bandages add just the right hint of mystery to entice. I'd like to see what he's hiding under there.
7/10.
Ring
Keeping with the good themes, he's slim, has pretty eyes and at least you can't roll him around. Dr. Cossack must have been on the good stuff when he came up with this design. Whatever that is, stick to it, not... whatever inspired you to make Bright and Toad. Shame he has no personality though. Also, the helmet.
6/10. Dr. Cossack's overall rating so far: 5/10.
Dust
And that approval rating just dropped like Forte after fighting Rock (I know, I'm terrible). Dr. Cossack must hae been sauced when he made a walking vaccuum cleaner. The shape's a disaster too, and his posture is terrible! No. Absolutely not
0/10! Ze-ro-!
Dive
At least this is a slight improvement. I hate it still, but it's an improvement. Bulky, poorly built, top-heavy, and what is with that helmet? The most I can say is that at least it's not Dust. And he has nice coloration I suppose.
2/10
Skull
Why? Did Dr. Wily take over his body for a bit? ...actually I'm rather shocked he hasn't ripped his design off by now. At least he refrains from sticking skulls on us...
3/10 but solely for themeing because if he wanted something to scare the crap out of people, he succeeded.
Tundra
My god. It's. It's a miracle! Dr. Cossack found taste! This might be actual proof of the existence of God right here. ...nah.
Wait, he redesigned himself? False alarm, Dr. Cossack still sucks at design. Tundra, on the other hand... mwah. The color, the hair, the sleek, fancy design! The use of icicles! I almost feel like he's ripping me off!
8/10. It would be 9 if he didn't clearly copy me. I mean, he just cut the helmet front in half and made it blew and crystally.
Abyss
Oh my. I may have that proof after all! An actual Cossack-designed robot who looks lovely?! ...oh. Kalinka desigend him? So the tiny girl has far better taste than her father, but... for shame, Dr. Cossack! For shame!
The theme is great, his style is great, he has a good sense of posture, too... Someone hire Kalinka to do all her father's designs from now.
9/10. As for Dr. Cossack, 3/10 overall! Your own robot and a tiny child did better than you! Be ashamed!
Wily-Made Siblings and Adopted Siblings
Rhythm
Is this a joke? What do you mean, of course not, Wily made- DON'T YOU DARE CLARIFY!
Anyway, I can't criticise my sister's taste. She's adorable and small and that cheerful smile of hers is always nice to see. Wait, no, I can criticise her taste. What the actual hell does she see in Forte? Does she just like violent thugs with face tattoos?
No rating, my sister is as close to perfect as you can get without being me, save for her deplorable taste in boyfriends.
Metal
Talk about outdated, but he's still better than (almost) anything the other doctors came up with. The saws let him down, but he's sleek, handsome, decent coloring. If only his actual taste was as good. What's with the chain fetish? And leather? Really? Is he trying to join a biker crew? If so, he should probably lose the piercings. Where did he even find them?
I don't really get along well with him. He's ill-mannered and bad tempered to boot. Handsomeness is wasted on that robot...
7/10. He makes the terrible punk garbage look... okay!
Air
Started off strong, father's taste immediately dipped back into the kind of ridiculous that remind me that he loves Gutsman's design. He's literally a fan with eyes and limbs. And there's so much bright yellow! I wouldn't even buy a regular fan that looked like that, let alone a sentient one!
0/10. I'm ashamed I came out of the same mind as this design!
Bubble
I don't have any big complaints about this. His helmet looks goofy and what's with the chest jewel? And again, the helmet - who puts a cannon on their head? He already hd a perfectly good one on his arm, he could have just put the Bubble one on his other arm!
4/10. Okay, I guess. If you like that sort of thing.
Quick
Ugh. Do not get me started on this jerk! He's always trying to piss me off and usually succeeds! At least he's good looking in that rugged sort of way... Good legs, good style - if a little too casual - good eyes. The helmet's as stupid as most are. And you could lose yourself in his eyes... if he'd stand still long enough to let you look into them, the hyperactive imbecile. I've yet to decide if that's good or bad.
8/10. Back to decent designs at least.
Crash
Flash
Heat
Wood
Needle
Magnet
Gemini
Hard
Top
Snake
Spark
Shadow
Gravity
Wave
Stone
Gyro
Star
Charge
Napalm
Crystal
Blizzard
Centaur
Flame
Knight
Plant
Tomahawk
Wind
Yamato
Freeze
Junk
Burst
Cloud
Spring
Slash
Shade
Turbo
Tengu
Astro
Sword
Clown
Search
Frost
Grenade
Aqua
Concrete
Tornado
Splash Woman
Plug
Jewel
Hornet
Magma
Galaxy
Blade
Pump
Commando
Chill
Sheep
Strike
Nitro
Solar
Block
Fuse
Blast
Acid
Torch
Impact
Bounce
Forte
Dynamo
Cold
Ground
Pirate
Burner
Magic
Zero
Stardroids
Terra
Mercury
Venus
Mars
Jupiter
Saturn
Uranus
Pluto
Neptune
Other
Sunstar